God
created the World in six days. In just six days, His creative genius
conceptualized things like the blue depths of the Great Barrier Reef, splashing
it in a fluorescent spectrum of colors that hadn’t been invented yet. Setting
the northern skies alight with the Northern Lights before there was anyone
around to even define the North from the South, East, from the West. Nurturing
the Petrified Forest before it had a chance to get scared. Creating Silly
String before the advent of the aerosol can.
For
God, it was a snap of the fingers. But for the operational and design crew, the
task must’ve been brutal. Think about what the executive board room at Alpha-Omega
Enterprises must’ve looked like: walls dotted with yellow Sticky Notes filled
with ideas and design changes; the white board scrawled in Gantt Charts, production
quotas, and flow charts to infinity; the long, oval table scattered in Styrofoam
cups dripping black coffee, stale donuts in crumpled Dunkin Donuts boxes; empty
bottles of Maalox; a motivational sign over the door saying: Day Seven:
Vacation—One Week All-Expense Paid on Cloud Nine for Top Performers.
I’m
sure God had a solid production crew in place. No doubt He had head honcho
angel, Gabriel, installed as VP of Operations. Michael probably played a more
hands-on role, perhaps down at the manufacturing plant level, making sure the
extrusion and assembly machinery hummed along, pumping out the daily quota of
trees, rocks, clouds, and cans of Silly String.
So
how did it look when God got an inspirational idea in the middle of the night
for something new like, oh, let’s say the Fire Fly?
Ok.
A bug with a butt that lights up. Think of the engineering challenge this
presented. No electricity yet, right? Ben Franklin hadn’t been thunk up yet…let
alone lighting…the key…the kite…string (except Silly String, of course).
Follow
me on this.
Gabe’s
got Michael out dealing with a plumbing issue at Niagara Falls, and half the
crew is down with the flu, caught while working in the Rain Forest. Theraflu has not been
invented yet. Gabe calls his Chief Design Engineer to give him the heads-up.
The Big Guy’s got a new design idea that He wants implemented. It’s Day 5. The
conversation may have gone something like this:
The
Chief Design Engineer (CDE) is sitting at his desk, gulping down a
pink-and-white liquid goo of Maalox and Pepto-Bismol. He’s got a slew of
problems today. Up North, he’s got reports that the refrigeration units aren’t
pumping to full capacity, and glaciers are plopping into the Ocean. The
plumbing issue up in Niagara is a mess. He’s got a severe thermostat issue with
the furnace in Phoenix, and he’s staring at a new design concept from the Big
Guy of a bug that looks like a ball of snot. His phone rings.
CDE
Engineering.
GABRIEL
Just
a heads up. Big Guy’s gonna be giving you a call. New concept. I think it’s in the
Bug Department.
CDE digs through his
desk drawer and pulls up the production chart on bugs.
CDE
You’re
killing me, Gabsey! Do you realize He’s come up with exactly ten-quintillion species of
bugs already!? That’s like, a 10 with, let’s see, one, two, three, four. . .
eighteen zeros! Do you realize that!
GABRIEL
Of course
I do. I just Googled it.
CDE
What’s
Google?
GABRIEL
Never
mind. Plan on ten-quintillion-and-one.
CDE
Swell.
GABRIEL
Hey,
you gonna do something about that big hole in the ground you left in Northern
Arizona, you know, when you were building the Rockies? Could pose an OSHA issue.
CDE
Big
Guy says keep it.
GABRIEL
What? It’s a hole in the ground!
CDE
He
says He likes the look. What do I know? I’m looking at a bug that is nothing
more than a ball of snot! And I gotta figure out what to do about that
thermostat issue in Phoenix. You can fry a Dodo egg on the sidewalk down there!
GABRIEL
Oh,
Big Guy says keep it.
CDE
What? Great. We’ll never get anyone to live down there—especially in July!
GABRIEL
Hey,
you have any idea what the Big Guy’s got planned for that Bermuda Triangle
thing?
CDE
Dunno.
Right now, He’s got a bunch of single socks from dryers all over the place hiding
there. He thinks that’s the funniest thing since the football team He gave to
that state shaped like a mitten. I stopped trying to figure Him out long ago.
GABRIEL
All
Right. Just expect a call from Him today.
CDE hangs up and is in
the middle of a swig of his Maalox-Pepto concoction when the other phone on his
desk rings. The red phone—the Hot Line.
CDE
Uh,
h-hello, Chief. Uh, yeah. Just got a call from him. Said you had a new concept
in the Bug department. . .
Uh,
huh. Right. You know, Chief, it’s not for me to pry. . .what’s that? I pry a
lot? Yeah, well, you know, um, I was
kinda thinking, another bug?
Are you sure we need more in the Bug Department? I mean, according to my
production schedule we’ve got ten-quintill—what’s that? I know, I know, never
quote numbers to you. . . what with you being infinite and all. You’re not a
numbers kinda guy. I get it.
But,
you know, Chief, the Bug Department, I think you’ve pretty much nailed it already. Right now, I’m
looking at Your latest design concept of a bug that looks like that stuff that
flew out of Gabby’s nose when Michael kept cracking those knock-knock jokes at
the Christmas party last year. (Nervous chuckle) Yeah, that was a riot, especially
after he had that mouth full of spaghetti.
Also, I gotta tell ya, when you came up with that one bug, you know, the
one who eats her mate after sex, I never really thought you’d top that one.
(Pause)
You
want a bug with what that lights up?
His butt? Uh, Huh.
(Boisterous Laugh Through Phone)
(Nervous
chuckle) Yeah, Chief, that’s a good one. But don’t you think all the other bugs
will make fun of him? You know, flying around with a little chain hanging from his
belly. No chain? Light switch then? No light switch either, huh? Well, what
about the plug outlets? I mean, we’re gonna have to either plan long extension
cords or outlets every. . . what’s that? Oh, they’ll be solar activated?
Will save on what? Greenhouse gases. Uhhhh, yeah.
Ummm,
speaking of gas. . .do you think we should re-evaluate this exhaust system concept? I mean, did you see what Michael did with that one at the Christmas
party last year, with his “here, pull my finger” thing?
(Boisterous laugh through phone)
Keep it. Ok.
Um,
before I go, just wanted to let you know about a production issue we’ve got in
the Midwest. We’ve got a mold out there that stamped out a state in the shape
of a mitten. What’s that? Keep it? People are going to do what to show where they live?
(Another boisterous laugh)
Well,
I’m wondering, what kind of a person is going to live in a state who needs to
use the back of his hand to figure out where he lives. Uh, huh. Same, same type
of person who’ll live in Phoenix in July. Gotcha. Okay, Chief. Um, let me go to
work on this Fire Fly thing.
CDE hangs up and gulps down
the rest of his Maalox-Pepto concoction.
Unlike
the Big Guy’s Chief Design Engineer, I do have access to Google. In addition to
the ten-quintillion species of insects, there are over 15,000 species of
mammals, 20,000 species of fish, some 6,000 species of reptiles, close to 1,000 species of
amphibians, over 9,000 species of birds, and seven different colors of Silly String.
Outside
of humans, created in God’s image, which of these millions of species can appreciate
God’s creation? Does the Fire Fly say, “cool---look at the way my butt lights
up! The chicks are gonna dig this"? Outside of its ability to poop on
windshields, does a bird appreciate the mountain ranges it soars over? And
taste buds! All beings need to eat to survive, but God gave us taste buds enjoy
the process of nourishment. Last time I checked, my Golden Retriever never
asked for a side of Au Jus with his
Purina One. And the cow, among the less-brainy members of the animal kingdom, hocks
up its cud and chews it. And not just from one stomach, mind you—but four! I enjoy a good Coney Island hot dog belch, but
when the chunks come up, not so much.
I
recently took my kids back to Michigan on summer vacation (I will not show you
where on the back of my hand…but I will say we left the convention oven heat of
Phoenix to join the swampy humidity swelter of summertime Michigan). My daughter let
out a squeal of joy when she saw her first Fire Fly. In her Gen Z fashion, she whipped
out her cell phone and chased after it, capturing it butt-glow brilliance to share on Snapchat. My son just
wondered what kind of glow-in-the-dark superhero he could become if he smeared
Fire-Fly juice all over his T-shirt. Having grown up in Michigan, the options of oozing Fire Fly butt juice are infinite to the limitless mind of an adventurous young boy.
God
made us to love, appreciate, and enjoy His creation. Of the billions of species
He created—God chose to share His splendor with us. The joy of the blazing
orange sky as the sun sets behind a mountain range; the salty smell of an ocean
breeze; the wonder of a glowing bug; the after-taste of a good Coney Island hot dog belch
(with mustard and onions).
He
also uses the wonder of His creation to teach how His great design operates gives us peace that He is in control. Think of the journey of the
caterpillar. It spends its life crawling through dirt and grime, eating bitter
leaves. After a period of cozy rest from its plight—it emerges transformed into
a butterfly—soaring over the ground it once crawled across—now dining on sweet
nectar.
God’s
love and awesomeness is all around us: in the glow of a Fire Fly, the
mitten-shape of a Midwestern state, or in the after-taste of a good Coney Island hot dog belch.
God created us to enjoy His creativity and wonders—and to remind us—He has a
perfect design—and is in complete control.
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